Saturday, November 14, 2009

The Size Post - Part II: The Ultimate

What should arrive, straight into Katchita's mailbox this very afternoon, but an important news flash for the differently-endowed among you. The sadly defunct TheyFit has been replaced by a new product called Coripa, which claims some 55 sizes. I quote: "Sie wissen es. Wir wissen es. Es gibt ihn nicht, den Einheitspenis." ! Germany, man, is where the condom size revolution is happening! Fantastisch! Coripa's manufacturer has worked, clearly, in close conjunction with Amsterdam's Condomerie, which has set itself up as the primary distributor. MySize will have a run for its money, but, I suspect, only among the most intrepid of men. A 110-plus-IQ may be required; as with TheyFit, there is a nearly indecipherable sizing system involving print-outs, cut-outs, and measurements long and wide, which must be accomplished while maintaining a certain (ahem) stiffness.

Your trusty blogger was, natürlich, on the look-out for the memorable TheyFit paper-cut warning. Here's the surest sign that Germans got ahold of this one and made it their own (I quote directly): "Please pay attention to sharp cutting edges during the application!" Hey, it could be worse, such as: "Please attend with closeness to edges during measurement application for to avoid sharp cutting of penile apparatus." Trust me; I've done more than enough proof-reading to know.

Given that, prior to leaving Spain, I dispatched my latest well-endowed specimen (a champion withholder per this post), I am staring squarely at another patch of sexless Berlin. So I'll have to leave it to you out there to test Coripa (how on earth did they come up with that uninspiring name?) for me.

1 comment:

Bas van Rijn said...

The guys at Condomerie are trying to make the transfer from TheyFitters to Cripa's as easy as possible with this (don't know how to call it)... So if you ever did get to measure according to the TheyFit system, you can rest assure that that 'effort' was not for nothing. Just pick your old TheyFit size and the best substitute is shown...